Sesshomaru's story
by isapheonix
Summary: The so called lord of the western land has been around for almost 1000 years and has finally had enough of the feudal fairytale. Now he tells his story in his own words. first story ever if you like let me know y if u dont tell me y not.A/N I dont own him


My name was Sesshomaru though I do not go by that name anymore. I changed it some time ago in order to have a more modern feel, though it was very common amongst my kind when I was young. We had at least two other sesshomaru's in my family alone. My family…right from the start we were not happy. My mother was a calculating woman. She wouldn't do anything unless it achieved her aims including play with me. I think at times she merely wanted to use me as a pawn to torment my father. I couldn't even tell you the number of stories that I heard from her about him. My father was kind enough, but he was angry for so much of the time it almost didn't even matter. I learned early on when to avoid him and when to seek him. I used to wonder many years ago if I had spent more time with him then would he have not taken that human woman.

I have a brother. A half brother actually. Of course everyone is aware of this fact. I see it ceaselessly wherever I go. There was nothing more insulting to me then the first day that I saw that she had actually penned our saga and named it after him. Inuyasha. The name still makes me cringe even after close to 1000 years. The worst and best part of it all is that everyone seems to think it was some kind of fairy tale. My side of the story goes for the most part untold except for the best part. I thought I could live with it but I guess not. That is why I write this now, these pointless, grammatically pathetic ramblings; merely to tell my story. Fine then I will tell part of it now.

For starters my mother is the first thing that I can remember. She looks amazingly like me in all forms and I suspect after all this time we even act alike. She is still alive somewhere back in Japan. I left her and the country behind in the eighteenth century when Rin's family forgot me. At that time she was singing to me while I was laughing. I think I was only 4 at the time but that memory is still so clear. I held onto it for a very long time and thought about it whenever she was cold to me. My earliest memory of my father is him yelling at mother. He was a very passionate man. I didn't understand that at the time. I always thought he was just mean but really he felt things more than either I or my mother ever did. He was often gone on patrols and such but I never thought it was anything important.

My life was like this for many years. Coldness and cruelty interspersed with some warmth. Remember I do not write this because I require pity. More just to acknowledge that it happened and that Inuyasha's isn't the only side of the story. My family during this time had two manor homes. I lived in one with my mother while my father ruled the western lands from the other one. These two homes had been in our family for many generations. In fact we lived in both of them for at least 2 centuries. One day my father came to the second manor and said he was to live with us. My mother was, if possible, even colder to him after this. I found out later that it was due to him being driven out of rule by the humans. She commissioned a scroll commemorating what she called his "abundant stupidity." He refused to harm the humans and left peacefully rather than slaughter them and cling to his rule. That night I became a prince in exile. My life changed dramatically as a result. I was no longer trained to care for what used to be our lands, or to rule over others. Another major change was that my father was now leaving for days at a time to track down and destroy those youkai who were unafraid to murder in order to rule. For my part I thought he was foolish. Those humans had thrown us from our home after centuries of protecting them. We did not owe them a thing and i told him as much. He said that I had spent too much time with my mother and that one day he hoped I would understand. That made me angry with him. After all who was he to insult my mother, or so I thought.

Another century passed in this manner. I think I only grew colder and angrier as time passed though I had no way of knowing it at the time. And then two things happened in the space of a few years. First I was presented with a half human brother, then my father died. I can't tell you what I felt at that time. Truly I don't know that I felt anything, only heavier inside. In order to give you a fair representation of events I will tell you my earliest thoughts on the matter, when I did take the time to have them. I had been replaced by a hybrid between my own family and that which had preyed upon my fathers' weakness. And he had left us to look after this creature. It was at this point that I began wandering the land looking for a purpose. It was also at this time that my mother decided it would be funny to bind that toad Jaken to me. She claimed it would be for company. That woman who wrote our story got that part wrong at least. He did not stay with me because he had a choice at first. I suppose my mother thought it would be funny to stick me with something that she thought I would kill within a week. Or maybe it was a test to see if I would act as my father had. The thing proved useful though once it mastered that staff so I kept him.

This is where my story begins to deviate from what that woman wrote. First of all although I did resent Inuyasha, I did not abandon him outright. I watched over him when I was in that area and when my mother was not watching me. It was a difficult thing to do considering that Jaken was constantly keeping an eye on me and I could not be certain at first that he was not reporting my habits. Outside of the actions of those humans he was protected. I didn't know why I did it at the time. I'm still not entirely certain to be honest. I can only hazard a guess which I am not inclined to do.

Secondly I did not intend to re-conquer my fathers' lands as she claimed. The humans were doing an amazingly good job of looking after things and besides, if I had done that then I would have re-solidified the ties to my mothers' family. I knew even then that I did not want that.

Thirdly I did not always say "this Sesshomaru." It was a habit I picked up after another 50 years or so when my half brother got nailed to that tree. Actually it was at precisely that time that I began saying that. Before then I had been too devoted to the one idea that had taken hold over my mind for some time. Which is the most important difference of all, before my brother had gotten himself stuck to a tree I had been trying my best to cultivate some sort of relationship with him. Now this may sound great but I can admit now that that isn't saying very much. I was a cold, cruel, devious person with a squawking thing, obnoxious, hybrid hating thing stuck to me, and he had abandonment issues. I think I had hopes that maybe we could put together some kind of family. I was wrong. But I will not dwell on that over much.

More time passed. As you know Kagome arrived and Inuyasha was released. By that time I truly begun to hate everything around me and I wanted power. I am ashamed to admit it now but at the time I even hated the Tensaiga. So I started searching for the one thing that my father had left to leave me: the Tessaiga. By this time I had not seen my mother in close to 100 years. Jaken had long been my only companion. I had no other allies and no other friends and I did not want them. After all that had happened so far in my life I thought that it could only lead to more problems. I had long since grown accustomed to that heavy feeling in my breast and had long since dismissed it as unimportant. Of course you know what happened next. First my fight with Inuyasha, and then my subsequent meeting with the lady Sarah. To be truthful she merely intrigued me. She had not intended to do anything other than sit and play her flute and I thought that to be wholly remarkable compared with what I had seen of humans so far. I had not seen them engage in such a civilized manner in my presence in more than 200 years.

I wish that I could say that what had happened or what had happened next was different. I had become obsessed with the sword. I had become vicious. I would kill everything in my path and not even care. I had become vicious to my only companion to the extent where he was terrified of me. I would even say that I had become a soulless monster. Others did not even want to be in my presence. Some tried to use my hatred to their advantage. I almost died countless times because of this drive. It got so bad that I began to torture the brother I had wanted so desperately less than a century before. Finally I got to my lowest point, lying half dead in a forest with no one and nothing to care. Then she arrived.

I will not go into too many details about Rin except to say that I softened a lot more than her descendant portrayed after she came into my life. After all who could resist a girl who would protect you with everything she had and would be grateful for the simplest acts of kindness? The story progressed much as the fable portrayed. Inuyasha made his tools stronger while I learned of my own strengths. Rin was taken from me… o yes. Kagura. Contrary to popular belief I did not love Kagura. She saw me as a means to an end and I was not so foolish as to fall for that.

After that there is not much to say. Naraku was defeated and Rin went to live with that human. She married and had children and insisted that I spend most of my time with her and her family. When she had grandchildren I spent time with them and so forth. For the first time in centuries I was not alone though I did not feel I deserved it. Of course Jaken was and still is with me. My mothers' damned spell was amazingly potent. Generations passed. Rins family was less and less devoted to me until they finally forgot me. I left for the new world and have been there ever since. That is my story. I was that monster that was described but not without reason. I think it was a for a very good reason. Don't you?


End file.
